Mama knows best.

I worship my grandmother. She is the strongest woman I know. Her son, my father, died at the tender age of 23. 13 years later, Mama still gets sniffly and sentimental. She's held onto frayed pieces of his clothing, knick knacks and L.Ps of his favourite musicians. But she has never allowed the grief to consume her, which I think is something I would do. Mama has survived an incredibly messy divorce, which didn't happen when she was in her 40's, as most people would think. Oh no. She stood in the headquarters of the MJC (Muslim Judicial Council) and demanded a fasaq (a divorce at the woman's request) from my abusive grandfather at the age of 65.

These instances are just two drops in a teapot of her hardships, but when I look at her, I can't see evidence of the pain on her serene face. When I've been at my wit's end at work, raging because some idiotic boy hurt me (my entire teenage-hood), crying because my dad wouldn't let me go out (again), or just in the mood for tea and talking, she has imparted nuggets of wisdom into my stubborn and rebellious mind that have stayed with me. And today, I'd like to share them with you.

1: Buy a loaf of bread with your first paycheck.

At 17, I got my first job as a video store assistant. Needless to say, I plotted and planned the numerous ways I would be spending my hard-earned dosh. I walked into my mama's living room one day, proudly displaying my first paycheck, she looked at me sternly and said, “Cash that cheque and buy a loaf of bread.” Um, excuse me? Why one earth would I do that? “It's about gratitude, Lauren. Be grateful for what you have now. That loaf of bread is a symbol of what you have accomplished. One day, it may be a house, or a car. But for now, it's a loaf of bread.”

2: As a woman, red lipstick is the greatest weapon you will ever own. Defensive and offensive.

Mama taught me the secrets of applying makeup at a very young age, to my mother's dismay. I would come home slathered in eye-shadow, lipstick and foundation because I had raided Mama's makeup drawer yet AGAIN. When I hit puberty (which was not pretty) Mama whispered a secret to me that I use to this day. If you have a bad hair day, wear red lipstick. If you need to feel powerful, wear red lipstick. If a man has scorned you, make sure he sees you WEARING RED LIPSTICK. “For some reason,” she said, pulling a tube of Revlon's 'Love that Red' out of her purse “when I put this on, people look past the pain in my eyes and focus on the shade decorating my smile. Anyway, nothing snags a man like a woman sporting red lips.” Brazen woman.

3: When something you can't control has hurt, upset or angered you, BAKE.

I was 16. His name was Louis. A blonde, adorable snake. I cried for an hour with my head in Mama's lap. Once the storm had passed, she handed me an apron and a 5 kilogram bag of flour and said, “ Let's make something delicious. We'll bake bread.” We spent the rest of that night and most of the next morning turning out bread, cakes, cupcakes and biscuits.

“ You want to hurt the person who hurt you, but you must understand that anger is a double edged sword. In hurting him, you will only hurt yourself. Dough doesn't feel pain. Mix it, knead it, throw it onto the floor if you have to. Bake until you've stopped crying.”

I hope you've enjoyed these three nuggets of wisdom. There'll be more to come in future posts. Ciao.