Mama knows best Part 2:

A few more nuggets from the mind and experiences of my Mama, the goddess.

4: Learn to cook one complicated dish and one complicated dessert. That way, when people ask you to bring a dish to dinner you'll have them cooing, sighing and salivating at your culinary skill. The fact that normally you nuke chicken in the mike, in favour of slow roasting it in the oven, occasionally basting it with a jus simmered down from organic plums, can stay your secret.

I learnt the recipe for my complicated dish when I was just nine years old. I remember standing on a bench so that I could reach the countertop, my hands and wrists covered in aromatic spices as I rubbed and massaged marinade into lamb pieces for all I was worth. The dish is called akhni. It's still my favourite meal. Basmati rice, potatoes, lamb and spices, cooked together slowly in a massive pot for two hours. Then Mama wrapped the pot in a blanket and placed it in the corner of a dark room (“The food's sleeping, shhh...”) for the spices to develop. Once Mama unwrapped the pot and  lifted the lid, she stared down at the contents (willing some flaw to appear, I think), looked at me through clouds of fragrant steam, and said very seriously: “Now, you can get married.”

I looked straight back and said, just as seriously, “Boys are disgusting.”

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5: Wear an expensive perfume. I've cheated on this one. I'm not sure there's a student in existence who would buy themselves a bottle of Chanel No5 in favour of booze, cheap campus food, textbooks and cigarettes (okay, forget the textbooks). I stole my mother's Bvlgari perfume instead. Then my granddad bought me a bottle of Versace on a trip to Mecca, and I finally understood Mama's reasoning. Perfume smells good, sure, but scent carries with it memories so powerful that you could be anywhere, catch a whiff of familiarity (vanilla, in my case), and be transported somewhere else completely. 


Since I've started earning, my twice-yearly gift 'from me to me' is an unforgettable scent.“A man will remember you by the perfume you wear. Make sure it's exquisite. That way, every time he gets close to you, he won't be able to forget that you are, too.”

6: Indulge yourself, even if it's in little ways. When Mama wanted to eat chocolate, she ate it. Much to her doctor's chagrin. Mama has diabetes but still enjoys the good things in life, in small, simple ways. Cake, chocolate, buns, hot bread and real butter, brewed coffee... I indulge myself as an adult because I was indulged as a child.”Life's hard enough as it is, Lauren. Why should you deprive yourself?” Mama winks at me and selects another chocolate from the Milk Tray. “And if you can't have what you want, get the lipstick.”